Millions are beginning to complain and thousands have begun to riot as Facebook has once again made a slight change to its timeline.
“CHANGE IS BAD!” Screamed one lady as she realized that she had a new ‘About’ page. She then joined a group of men and women and helped flip a Chrysler.
Sources say Mark Zuckerberg entered his panic room before the change was even made. “We saw how much they complained last time,” said Zuckerberg’s head of security, “we just don’t want Zuck to get hurt.”
“You can never please these animals.” Zuckerberg was quoted saying.
Right now thousands are complaining to their friends about the miniscule changes that Facebook has made. Governments in over 22 nations have declared martial law as a preventative measure. “These complainers just can’t cope with slight changes to Facebook,” said head of the CIA Jon Brennan.
Everybody can remember when Facebook made its biggest change, when ‘the wall’ was change into ‘the timeline.’ For months people refused to cope with the changes. “They cant force me to change to timeline” millions would say in protest. Luckily, Facebook was able to slowly wean the users into it with only mild riots. “All that was hurt was Zuck’s feelings.” Said a Facebook team member.
One man has vowed that he will never come out of his room until Facebook changes the timeline back to the way it was.
“We don’t care.” Stated Mark Zuckerberg when hearing the young victims vow. “All we did was put statuses on the right and information on the left. It’s not that big of a deal!”
But to the millions of complaining Facebook users, it is that big of a deal. “They have to warn us of these things!” Said crying teenager Wendy Smith. “It’s just too much for my brain to handle!”
Eventually, Facebook users will get used to the change and forget that it even happened. But until then, get ready for the complaints, it is going to be a long and drawn out process.
“We barely changed it at all!” Mark Zuckerberg was quoted saying desperately from his panic room.
